So long
In the past seven years, I’ve lived in nine different apartments in five different towns. Needless to say, I’ve moved a lot; over that time I’ve had nine different roommates, and lived on my own for two and a half years. I have packing down to an art, and hoard spare cardboard boxes and newspaper like it’s going out of style. Moving to Winnipeg was my first time moving out of province and away from my family, and it looks like it will be my last.
For those few readers who have thought we were some marketing scam, some Destination Winnipeg tie-in, let me tell you: we are not. For this is a post, not about moving to, living in, and loving Winnipeg, but about leaving it.
I’ve been here the shortest of the Wo’MHers. I moved on a whim; after landing a job where I could work from home, I wanted a city that didn’t suck up as much rent as Vancouver, and loved the idea of moving near to dear friends who recently made Manitoba their home. In less than a month, I’d switched jobs, broken my lease, packed up 2000 lbs of books and Ikea furniture, and moved halfway across the country.
I didn’t anticipate what a lifestyle change I was in for – not just moving to a new city, but basically never leaving my apartment. In the last few months, I’ve experienced the amount of anxiety and depression I would normally stretch out over an entire year. It’s been an excellent experience as far as finding a new and welcoming city, but a very difficult one with being so far from family, feeling isolated, and struggling to align myself with my new life, new town, and a much smaller accessible support network that I’d been used to. In the end, looking forward to another winter — a full one this time — and maybe two more visits to my toddler nieces before the year was up, I broke down. I made phone calls; I surveyed my savings and booked a U-Haul: I decided to move back West.
This has been all the more difficult because of the public spectacle I made my move to this city. I feel like, after touting Winnipeg’s finer points, I should ‘eat my own dog food’ (as an old boss used to say about the software we made) and stay here, because didn’t I say the city was awesome? ON THE INTERNET no less? (And the radio. And in a newspaper. Annnnnd in a documentary.) I had a very easy time deciding I needed to leave for myself, and a much harder time reconciling that with this story I’d help weave about how great this city is.
So this is the verdict: I really like Winnipeg. Honestly, I like it way more than I could have imagined, because moving here, I really didn’t expect to. I thought, “This will be …. interesting”, but it hadn’t crossed my mind that Winnipeg would, in fact, be awesome. It’s a beautiful city with potential and promise; and, amazingly, a city I can actually afford to purchase real estate in. One with lovely parks and countless public events; one that is amazingly fascinated with itself in a way that only really seems to create more fascination. I’ve thought more about this town than the four others I’ve lived in as an adult combined; I’ve consumed multitudes about its flaws and its strengths. It is a great city. I’ve also experienced a level of loneliness here I didn’t expect; a disconnect from my family that somehow made me feel closer to them, and a desire to move back to an Island I decided, six months ago, that I wouldn’t call home for at least five years, if ever again. Of course, I’ve been wrong before, but never so publicly, and so counter to things I’d said again and again, through waaaay too many mediums not to at least be a little embarrassed.
As you can probably guess, this is my last post at Winnipeg O’ My Heart. I am so very grateful for the support and interest fellow Winnipeggers have shown us in this endeavor, and wish the best of luck and love for this city to my two remaining fellow bloggers.
Thanks for the awesomeness, Winnipeg. I will miss you.
That’s too bad, Laurel.
In the end, though, “living” is more than just about the physical environment around you. One’s job, support network, family etc. are all a huge part of that package. No city is complete if you don’t have that.
Don’t feel embarrassed at all ! Your experiences have interested a lot of people, made a lot of people consider their city differently. In a place like Winnipeg that’s a pretty tough agenda in any span of time !
Best of luck back in BC !!
Christian
I can relate. I left Winnipeg for Toronto and left behind my social network. It is hard to leave so many great friends and family behind. Harder still if you can’t go back to see them as often as you need.
I welcomed your spirit and energy to Winnipeg. In your short time here you’ve contributed more to Winnipeg than many have in a life time.
Best of luck back “home”. Do come back to visit from time to time.
cheers, gom
You’re going to be missed in the city and over the web – I enjoyed your many posts and hope that your return to a greener pasture goes well for you – Your post was moving and I’m glad you wrote it and I could read it
All the best Laurel!
Best wishes, Laurel. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts and thoughts on our city. We’d love to have you back anytime.
Having moved here 2 years ago from Vancouver, I’ve been there multiple times. Uprooting from a city like Vancouver to a town like Winnipeg definitely shrinks one’s support network and often times I’ve felt lonely and homesick wanting to just pick up and move back home.
I definitely enjoyed your contribution to this blog. Best of luck.
Lol, don’t take it so seriously.
Aw, thanks for the kind words, everyone! 🙂
Wow. I am really surprised to read this. I’ve been lurking here since your story first appeared in the paper and have enjoyed your posts. We actually have very similar backgrounds as my father also served at CFB Milner Ridge, which you wrote about in your daytripping post. After being away for over 16 years I moved back home in 2007, even though my parents still live down east. The difference here is that we left when I was 15 whereas you left at 2. I’m totally thrilled to be back here and grateful for every day that doesn’t have the big city smog and traffic/3 hour commutes/rat race of Toronto. Yes, I’m still far from my family but we do after all have to take our own paths in life. Your stories never left the impression of someone sitting in your apartment too much!
Really sorry to hear it didn’t work out for you.
Hey, don’t be embarrassed. It ain’t no crime to change your mind. Fact is, Winnipeg is great, and B.C. is too. What a country!
Dear Laurel,
I know what that dog food tastes like…!
Hi, Laurel:
From your neighbour down the hall, I feel like I missed out on an opportunity! I wish I would’ve extended a more Winnipeg welcome to you and invited you in for a martini, cup of tea, or whatever else!
I remember moving to a new city about 5 years ago, and I only stayed there for 6 months. It was hard for me, too, being away from my family and those that keep me grounded in life. I didn’t realize how important that was to me.
I didn’t make any new friends, had a hard time adjusting without my support systems — and while I loved the city i lived in, I was simply lonely.
I promised myself that I would never forget that experience and extend openness to someone in a similar situation. It appears I forgot my own promise. For that, I’m sorry.
But I do hope you travel back home with rich memories of our little city and a pat on your back for making such a move. It doesn’t mean that you’ll never do something like this again: it just means you’ll be prepared.
And for the rest of us, we missed an opportunity to welcome you and get to know you personally. Not as the blog-writer, but as my neighbour down the hall.
Warm wishes, Jeanie